I Quit!!!

Smoking that is. I've been smoke free for 8 days and counting. I quit Dec. 13, 2009 at 7:30pm. It's hard. I haven't really had much withdrawal. But the habit is harder cause I was always smoking. When I was upset, happy, drinking. After I ate. The only salvaging fact is I only smoked in the car. I rarely smoked at home. So that makes things easier on me than the average smoker. I have the issues a person who smokes a cigarette a month or smokes for a week or two then quits for a year. Or a holiday drunk. Since you don't do it daily or heavily, you don't really feel that desperate to quit. If I wasn't trying to have a baby I'd probably never quit!! Basically it's ALL for the baby!! I'm not proud of it, but it's true.

Yesterday was the Solstice. I took a walk in the woods got in touch with nature. It wasn't intentional at all. DH was looking at a piece of property and wanted me to come along. I objected. I mean- it's the WOODS! Soft wet DEAD leaves. I hate stepping on wet ANYTHING. Well apparently it was time for this Christian/Wicca/Buddhist/Spiritualist to touch some nature. As we walked, through the annoyance I felt, I started to get more comfortable. And the woods felt... Peaceful. I believe if I'd been alone I could have got some real meditation done. :) Well when we left, I felt better. I kinda wanted to go back. I'm still not nature girl, but it wasn't so bad. I liked it. And at the time... I'd forgotten it was the Solstice. :) Just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Isn't that usually the way? The Universe puts you where you need to be. :)

Well, that's it. For now anyway. More as it unfolds. :)


Jen

Seeking...

I've been thinking a lot about Wicca lately, and wondering why I left that path. Of course I know there is no ONE true path that is the end all I wonder why I left that one. I won't make this long and drawn out. I was just wondering. I've been on a Buddhist path, a Rastafari path- basically i've been everywhere, man. :)

Well anyway, I've recently gotten back NEAR my path of peace & love. Hubby & I started our little produce business. I love the work, but there are a few customers who try my patience. I mean my prices are almost GIVE AWAYS!! But they want it nearly free!! I'm like apparently I don't need to live. I don't have bills. So just please! Take ALL my product for FREE. I'll just go live in a rolled up newspaper behind MacDonalds. Long as you have your 70 oranges 4 $.50!! Fantastic! LoL!

BUT I guess my first lesson is my best lesson. People will be people. Give 'em an inch and they'll take that inch and tell you last time you gave me foot and now they want a mile. To get through life sane you have to give til it hurts... Then STOP. otherwise there is resentment. But when the evils of the world get you down, just stop... Breathe... And realize no matter how nasty others are, it does not define you. You have to chose to be angry & nasty and only hurt yourself in the end. Or be at peace... And just look at them with pity and damn near KILL they ass!! Because grimmy ass people don't know how to deal with quiet, smiling indifference. :)

blessings, with hands together. {{Thats right.. I said it at the end. :p }}

Jen